When we are meeting someone for the first time, we are bombarded with information. It can be hard to figure out what kind of person they are. That’s why it’s important to understand how we communicate. So, here are some psychological tricks that can help you to understand how you can read anyone instantly.
According to experts, 55% of what we say comes from body language, 38% from tone of voice, and only 7% from what we say. This means that when we meet someone for the first time, we have to consider these three factors – plus what a person’s appearance can tell. So, if you want to get a sense of someone’s personality when you first meet them, pay attention to the following clues – start from the head down!
Psychological Tricks
There are 17 psychological tricks. These are the following:
Eye Contact
This is often said that the eyes are the window to the soul. The key to knowing what kind of eye contact someone is giving you is to consider the context. For example, if a guy literally can’t take his eyes off you, it could mean that there’s a romantic interest in him.
On the other hand, when you look someone in the eye and they can’t muster the courage to look back at you, it’s a sign that they’re either nervous or have something to hide. That said, if you’re talking to someone whose stare is making you flinch — especially if they’re very quiet and not blinking — then something is definitely wrong, and maybe They are lying to you.
Eyebrows
If you want to see how comfortable a person is, look at their eyebrows! Three main emotions raise your eyebrows: surprise, worry, and fear. Try raising your eyebrows when you’re having a casual conversation with a friend. It’s hard to do, isn’t it? If someone talking to you raises their eyebrows, and the subject doesn’t logically cause surprise, concern, or fear, it’s a sign that they’re feeling quite uncomfortable.
Smile
When it comes to smiling, the mouth can lie, but the eyes cannot. A genuine smile reaches the eyes, crinkling the skin around them to form the crow’s feet. People often smile to hide what they’re thinking and feeling, so the next time you want to know if someone’s smile is genuine, look at the wrinkles at the corners of their eyes. If they’re not there, that means their smile is hiding something!
What do They Say?
If you are meeting someone for the first time, and they only talk about their wonderful spouse or praise their work colleagues, chances are they are very nice people themselves. Studies show that the more people perceive others to be kind, polite, loving, and well-behaved, the more likely they are to have these qualities.
However, the reverse is also true. Anyone who backstabs and calls others cunning and evil is more likely to have these traits themselves. It is also possible that they have a history of depression or a personality disorder.
Paralanguage
Paralanguage is nonverbal communication such as your manner of speaking, tone of voice, or pitch of delivery. It’s a fancy way of saying that you need to pay attention to how someone says something. For example, if someone is answering you in a monotone, they are probably unengaged and not interested in your concept.
Another good example is the use of sarcasm. When someone uses sarcasm, that person means the opposite of what the words say. So, pay attention to how much emphasis they put on words and how they say it. This gives you a big clue as to what their real intentions are.
Staring Eye
People who are warm and ready to meet you will have their bodies turned towards you and look you in the eye. On the other hand, if you’ve just met someone and they immediately start looking away, it’s a subconscious body language sign that means they’re looking to escape.
Nodding
Nodding repeatedly is usually a sign that someone agrees with you. But, exaggerated head nodding can be a sign of concern about approval. When you are telling someone something and they nod excessively, it may mean that they are worried about what you think of them, or that you doubt their ability to follow through on instructions.
On the other hand, frequent head nodding can also be subliminal gestures that signal to the other person to move on – just like when someone keeps looking at their watch or tapping their car keys.
Chin and Jaw
When someone is trying to make a decision, he rubs his chin. They may be looking up, down, or to the side… This is a sure sign that they are in deep thought. Jaw clenching is a sign of stress. Regardless of what the person is saying, it conveys a great deal of discomfort. Maybe the conversation is turning to something they’re worried about, or their mind is elsewhere, and they’re focusing on what’s stressing them out.
The Way Someone Carries Themselves
The way someone carries themselves can give you some clues about their confidence. For example, if someone is walking straight with their shoulders back and looking straight ahead, it indicates that they feel good about themselves and have confidence. However, if one is looking down at the ground while walking, it has a very different effect. It doesn’t mean they have low self-esteem, but that’s the message it sends.
Rubbing the Hands
It is believed that the hands transmit what the head is thinking. When a person is rubbing their hands together, it usually means that they have a positive feeling about something. People usually do this when they expect something good to happen in the future and are excited about it.
Handshake
You can tell a lot by shaking a person’s hand. Soft and flabby – and they are likely to be submissive or pushy. Very tough and crushing – and they are probably the domineering type. The length of time is also important. Too long and it’s awkward, but too short could indicate a conflict of some sort. It is possible that the person does not want to have a deep relationship with you. Or, it can also mean, they don’t have much time.
Leaning Towards You, or Moving Away
If a person leans towards you, it is a clear sign that they are interested in what you have to say. You might not know that it is also a sign of respect. When people come closer to you and lean toward you during a conversation, it shows that they want to trust you. It makes you feel trusted and valued. However, if someone leans back, they show that they are tired of the conversation, or perhaps they feel uncomfortable for some reason.
Hand to Hold the Baby
It’s okay to hold a baby…it may sound weird, but it’s good to know. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, and she’s just become a mother, sees which hand she uses to hold the baby. Studies show that happy mothers tend to hold their babies in their left arms. While stressed and depressed mothers usually keep their babies in their right arms.
Crossed Arms and Legs
Have you ever interacted with someone who has crossed their arms or legs while talking? It’s not a good sign if you’re on a first date, or if you’re trying to pitch someone new. Crossed arms and legs are physical barriers that indicate the other person is unwilling to listen to you. Even if they are smiling and engaged in pleasant conversation, their body language tells a story about them.
Psychologically, crossed legs or arms indicate that a person is physically, emotionally, and mentally distant from what is in front of them. At the same time, the direction of someone’s feet is also quite shocking. The person who likes you will have both feet facing you. However, if their feet move toward the door, it means they’ve had enough and want to leave.
Shoes
A person’s shoes tell you a lot about their personality. We all make judgments about people’s shoes, but studies show they’re pretty accurate. – Nervous people will have new or very clean shoes – Sociable type people will wear practical shoes – Quiet people like uncomfortable shoes – And aggressive people wear ankle boots. Just take a look at your shoes. Does your personality type match theirs?
Overall Appearance
How someone dresses and presents themselves can say a lot about them. If a person’s hair is in place, their clothes are understated, and they pay attention to style, they can be very detail-oriented. Someone with a more casual wardrobe or “bedhead” may be creative, or simply messy. And then take someone who looks scruffy and scruffy – they might just be a really lazy person.
Mimicking Body Language
If you’ve never tried to read people before, this is something you probably haven’t noticed. But, pay close attention to this in the future, because when someone mimics your body language, it means they feel so good about you, that they want to reciprocate. This is a sign that the conversation is going well and that the other party is receiving your message.
This is done unconsciously – because no one walks to be a complete copy of someone. But when we are comfortable with people, we tend to do what they do. Some of us are very good at reading the signals that people give. While others are so bad that they need another person to come up and tell them straight what’s on their mind.
Reading people isn’t easy, but if you can do it, it’s a great skill to have. Of course, everyone is different, so the interpretation of their words and actions may or may not always be accurate. But hopefully, with psychological tricks, you’ll be on your way to becoming better at reading people. We want to know what you think! When you’re meeting someone for the first time, what’s the first thing you usually notice about them?
Love,
Saurabh Goel
Saurabh Goel
He is the Founder and CEO of the Training and Counselling Company ‘Brain Soul & You’. He is an NLP Wellness Coach, Life Coach, Brain analyst, and Trainer for Education, Corporate, and Entrepreneurship. For more than 7 years, he delivered presentations on entrepreneurship, mind programming, and motivation. He did his B.tech in IT and later choose to be a successful psychologist. He is helping people in various ways through his counseling and training sessions.