Narcissism has been considered suicide. Because its values say that praising oneself is a very bad thing. Sometimes man thinks that there is no one like me in the whole universe, everything happens through me, from the path to the destination from this place to the other end, it is only me and no one else.
For these types of people, there is a term lifted from the Greek tradition called narcissism.
What is Narcissism?
One of the things we need to protect our children from is self-obsession. In Hindi, there is a word for narcissism “Atma-Mughta” which is very close to it called Narcissism. Narcissism is more common in small children because small children are egoistic. Egoism means looking at life by keeping oneself in the center of the world.
You must have heard the word Self-Confidence and must also know that every parent wants their child to have Self-Confident, well there should be Confidence. Sometimes it’s hard to know where the line of self-confidence ends and the line of self-obsession begins.
As some people say the line between friendship and love is very thin. You never know when you jump to the other side of the line. Similarly, the line between competition and rivalry is very thin. Similar to religion and communalism the line is very thin. You never know when you were religious and when you became communist.
Similarly, there is a thin line between being confident and being narcissistic. But there is a line. Understand that line. And it is important to recognize that broadly self-confidence is a very good quality. It is a positive quality and should be there. And narcissism is a condition that is not only a problem for the person having it but also a problem for the society around him. It makes society toxic, and full of harmful things.
There is a general tendency in people that I am fine, others have this problem. It is funny, later you understand that I am also not fine, I have a problem too.
So don’t worry about the word, I’ll explain the full story of where it came from. Then you will understand why such a difficult word was made.
There is an interesting story behind it. Before talking about it In the last 30-40 years, all over the world, especially in the West, it has been observed that the tendency of narcissism i.e. narcissism has increased a lot.
Based on surveys conducted by medical science and psychology associations. One survey reported that the difference between 1962 and 1990 is that in 1962 this trend was seen in 12% of American teenagers. By the 1990s, this trend is being seen in about 77 to 80 percent of children. I am talking about 12 percent to 80 percent, I am not talking about one or two percent.
So this is a big problem. Some people believe that this is not such a big problem in Indian society, but it has to be accepted that in today’s time, it has also started showing up.
Let’s talk by example, One of the symptoms of narcissism is that the person starts feeling that there is no one like him, I am very beautiful, I am very smart, and all. Now you can relate.
If someone around you says that I am very beautiful. What should I do? What should I do? Tell him you have narcissistic personality disorder. You have NPD to get your treatment.
Some even become more aggressive at times. He feels that the world cannot go on without him. If not me then who?
If someone says, if not me, then who is to say, get your treatment done? Narcissistic personality disorder, it’s called NPD, and if someone says not you then someone else needs treatment because this person has become too self-confident.
When you start hearing such sentences, then understand that something is wrong. If someone thinks that I am above the Constitution, above the law and everyone is inferior to me.
Origin of Word Narcissism
A question must be coming to your mind why was it named so difficult? There is a story behind it and the name of the central character of that story is Narcissus, after Narcissus it got its name Narcissism.
The story is about two characters, one is Narcissus and the other is Echo or Echo, whatever you call it. Look, all the religions of the world have very interesting beginning stories.
One of the purposes of those stories is to use the story to teach a moral idea. You will remember when you were young, your parents used to tell you stories, today’s generation is unable to listen. When you become a parent, you may not be able to tell the story because the child will not even want to listen, he will say, shut up, I will watch on TV. Doraemon is being played. I’ll listen to his story and Shinchan is being played, I’m more interested in that, I’m less interested in your stories. But till a generation or two ago all children grew up listening to stories and what was the effort of the parents?
This used to happen in every society of the world to teach moral values to children through stories. And children ask many difficult questions and create their own imaginations to answer them.
Like I think in Greek society a child would ask if you go somewhere in the woods and make a loud sound the sound repeats again and again and later there is an echo then the children ask where is this sound coming from Well, at that time physics was not so advanced that you can answer it based on physics.
Then people used to imagine. He imagined that son there is a story behind this voice and that story, this story is that story then read what this story is, then you will have a complete idea from where this word originated?
There is a very famous writer named Ovid in Roman literature. You must have heard of an epic called Metamorphosis. The name of that epic was written during the time of Caesar Augustus. That is, it was written sometime between 27 BC to 14 AD. This means that it was written around the time of Christ.
A Greek Story
There was a boy Narcissus, who was he? In Greece, there is a god, the god of rivers. The god of rivers was called Siphisus. There was Apsara. Apsara means nymph in Greek literature. So there was a nymph named Lirio Pe. She was the God of the River. Narcissus was the son of a nymph named Lirio Pe.
He was the son of a god, so he must be smart and handsome. He was very handsome. He was so handsome that whoever saw him went mad. But as handsome as he was, equally arrogant. Many girls used to propose to him. But he used to abuse a lot to those girls. He used to insult them so much by saying you see your face, how do you look, you are this, you are that, the poor thing used to forget to live again, after being insulted so much, they used to live in that insult.
At the same time, there was another girl. That girl was an Apsara. Her name was Echo. She spoke very well and was beautiful. Once a goddess Shukra told him that you are one of the most beautiful Apsaras, it was a great compliment. She was very playful and was fond of talking a lot.
One day Echo did a prank on a girl named Juna. Juna got angry and annoyed. And said to Echo – “You would play pranks on me. I curse you. You will not be able to speak any sentence on your own and if someone else has spoken a sentence then you will be able to repeat only the last few words of that sentence.”
She gave her two curses. So, she was not able to speak a new sentence on her own behalf and repeat some words at the end of the spoken sentence. She was making a living somehow.
One day Narcissus went hunting in the forest with his friends. And when he went to the forest, it happened by chance that he got separated, his friends went somewhere, and he got lost. He was roaming alone in the woods, while Echo was also roaming there. When she saw him, she also fell in love with him, that is, she went completely mad. She was so beautiful, she is also an Apsara, no less. He is the son of an Apsara, the son of a deity.
Now she is pacing back and forth like crazy. But it is not showing up. He is feeling that someone is around by the sound of the trees, by the sound of the leaves. So he said who is she, what did she say, who is she because she cannot speak. He felt that someone was playing a strange puzzle with him.
Then he said come forward, and she said come forward. Then he said, what is the need to hide so much? What is the need to hide so much? We should talk to each other. So her answer came, we should talk, then after some time, she came in front. And she was so madly in love that she ran straight to him to hug him like in the movie as if she had gone mad because she thought everything was going well.
She ran in this hope. And as soon as she came near, he said stop, move, nonsense, then he said I would prefer to die before that, rather than you enjoy my body. This made the situation worse. And as soon as this sentence came out of her mouth, she was very ashamed and ran away crying loudly. And scolded him and made him run away.
When she stopped crying, her friends who were Apsaras went to a goddess. The name of that goddess was Nemes. In Greek literature, Nemesis means the goddess of retribution. Friends went, they said look, this boy is very rude, he has hurt our friend’s heart. Don’t know how many people’s hearts have been hurt by this, don’t know how many poor people have lost their lives due to this. You take revenge on him.
Then Goddess said okay okay let’s start her calculation. And then one day he went hunting again and the goddess made a plan against Narcissus and he felt very thirsty. When he went ahead in search of water, there was a pool. A beautiful pond but the pond was made in such a way that even a few steps could not be taken in it.
It was not possible to go even two steps in it, it was a very deep pond. So he slowly lay down on his stomach to drink water and as soon as he lay down he saw his own shadow under the water. When he was born, a sage was called, and the sage was asked what would be the future of this child. As it happens here.
What will be the future of that child? Everyone said that he would have a great life until he got to know himself. The day he knows himself, he will become difficult. And today he saw his reflection in the water, and as soon as he saw it, he became crazy about it. He didn’t know it was a reflection. Science at that time was not advanced enough to understand that it was a reflection.
He felt that there was someone else. Maybe there’s an underwater god who got mad like Echo, he got mad for himself and his friends said that he should also understand the pain that we go through when we love someone, and he talks with contempt, so how does it feel.
Now this poor man is asking him, who are you friend, he is not answering at all. Funny, a boy talking to a boy. He is again saying that I want to meet you. The answer is still not coming. Tired of pleading a lot, no answer came from there. Finally said if you don’t answer me then what is the use of this life and the echo was listening standing behind the tree. She is happy that today he understood this and finally he decided that if he can’t live with this then this life is useless and ended his life.
What did he say in the last sentence? bye Bye. And what Echo said from behind, goodbye. He died. Died of narcissism. Couldn’t bear his own beauty. Echo was a nymph, she was eternal, she was not mortal, she was immortal, but then the story spread that her body was destroyed. Her bones turned to stone but her voice remained and even today when someone says something in the world, some words are repeated behind her, so understand that the goddess named Echo is present there.
Moral of The Story
This is the story of a very handsome but very proud man named Narcissus. And this thing should always be kept in mind that if you talk rudely with people, someday someone is going to meet you too and will make life difficult. The thing to learn is that if you like someone, don’t run toward him like Echo, have some self-respect. And if you don’t like someone, don’t reject him disrespectfully, contemptuously, contemptuously. There may be some way to politely decline. Because it happens that the way you treat everyone, the same can happen to you.
People who have this tendency are named Narcissus, the word Narcissist is used for those people. And this tendency got the name Narcissism. In a word, Echoism is also used in psychology and Echoism works for those who are a very weak type of people who keep on tolerating a Narcissist, and keep believing in his every word. Tolerate and not resist toxic relationships. He bears every sorrow. This is also a bad thing and you have already seen the story of Narcissus.
Now based on this, what is Narcissistic Personality Disorder and what are the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. These days some people are beginning to believe that narcissism can be healthy to a degree. Being self-obsessed can be a healthy mindset up to a level and if it goes beyond a level then it is called NPD. NPD stands for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
What is a Narcissistic Person Do?
A narcissistic person needs and wants a lot of attention and wants people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
How to deal with a Narcissist?
- Educate yourself about NPD.
- Build your self-esteem.
- speak for yourself.
- Set clear boundaries.
- Practice the skill of staying calm.
- Find a support system.
- Emphasize immediate action, not promises.
- Understand that a narcissistic person may need professional help.
Symptoms of Narcissism
And it can be of any type. Some people told many types of it, some people are very proud of their body, that I have a good body, you will see some people go to the gym from morning till evening and pump their bodies. Muscles become fish of muscles in the hand, muscles in the leg and they enjoy that, then they walk like this, even while walking on the road it seems that there is a mountain inside the T-shirt, so they are only proud of it. Is. This is called physical narcissism. That my body is so great, what are you in front of me?
In the case of a girl, it may be on beauty, that is I am very beautiful. May it be for a man that I am so strong, what should I do, what should I do. But it is not just about the body. People also do what is in their minds. There is a term for that, cerebral or intellectual narcissism. No one else has intelligence like me.
There is another one that is quite visible these days, and that is spiritual narcissism. Some people talk about spirituality, and some may be big monks. Anyone can be a monk of any religion. And you’re talking to him. He is giving you knowledge that brother, soul is like this, God is like this, do this, don’t do that and you have asked questions. Now he will look at you with this feeling of disdain, what do you think that you are a mean man, a mean woman, only I know spirituality and no one else. Whatever comes out of my mouth is spirituality. If someone is seen talking like this, then he is a victim of spiritual narrow-mindedness.
Is Narcissism Healthy?
1. You will find that young children generally have this tendency. Like a small child. Now what does the mother do to teach the children a little? The child is saying Mother, I am not feeling strong. The mother says that if the son drinks milk, he will become strong. So the child drinks the glass of milk completely. Then they say, Mother, I have become strong. Then the mother says Son, you are the strongest child in the world. Then the child walks around like this all day long that I am the strongest child.
He only knows that the poor in the world remains engrossed in him. It is also self-righteousness that I am the strongest child. I am the smartest child. The mother said to the child, Son, what is three times three, the child said, it is nine. Mother is saying wow, such a small child has not told this thing to date. Son, you are a child of a different level.
Whereas in every house the child of that class is telling the answer. But this child does not know that this game is going on in every house. This kid thinks I really am the greatest kid in the world, but that’s just the way moms are. This is a way for parents that the child learns with this confidence, and moves forward, then it is called OK. This is a healthy level, there is no problem with it.
2. If someone’s narcissism is linked to a greater social good i.e. greater sense, then I have to raise the name of my country and I will do it for that. If I study so much, do so much, and make the country famous, then it can be an addiction, but now we are connecting with the country and the society, so we can believe that it can be healthy.
If the narcissism is under control. Control means look, everyone has a little bit of happiness. It is a natural thing. It is very natural to be happy about yourself. One emotion is self-esteem which means having a feeling of happiness about one’s personality. It is a natural thing.
Sometimes it comes to mind that there is something inside me, there is something inside me, isn’t it? If this thing comes even a little, then there is no harm in it. Just don’t make announcements about that, right, if it’s coming to your mind then what’s the problem, let it manifest a little bit. And if you stay in control then there is no problem. That there is something in me too, okay, there is something in him too, yes there is something in him too. There is something in him, yes there is something in him. So there is no problem, the problem is when someone says that there is something within me and no one else.
The purpose of this blog is not that you forget to praise yourself. Do, do more in the mind, and do little outside, but if you do outside, do it for yourself as well as for others. It’s okay when you compliment others too. When a man is engaged only in self-praise day and night, then there is a problem, but when we say that self-obsession has become a disorder, then what are its three-four symptoms. Start recognizing them today in the people around you and in yourself before others. Otherwise, one keeps looking out of the lens but does not see himself, sometimes it happens, doesn’t it?
Change Your Perception
There was an interesting debate in Philosophy, a philosopher named Hume said that they tried hard to find the soul by looking inside himself but could not find the soul, so you know what Hume said, what was looking was the soul. Sometimes it happens that you are watching everyone and you do not know what is happening to you.
So what happens sometimes, the whole game is of perception. A man went to the doctor and said, Doctor, the whole body is paining, wherever I put my finger there is a lot of pain, the complete checkup is done. Later it was found that there was a problem with the finger. The problem is in the finger, it is getting pain wherever it is touching, but what is his perception that the whole body is having pain, the pain may also be in the checking part, need not be on only outside.
When talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, what are its symptoms? It is one thing to have an overly inflated sense of self-importance, that is, if it is too high within someone. This means one starts feeling that the world will not be able to run without me. The development of the country will not be possible without me. How would the world go on if something happened to me? What will happen to my country if something happens to me?
When someone starts talking like this, explain to him that our status in this whole universe is not more than a speck of dust and there is no one in the world without whom the world would stop. The world runs smoothly.
Many big people came and died, it is not known. Alexander also had a similar misconception about himself that he would conquer the whole world. What will happen by conquering the world? Due to his stupidity, he unnecessarily destroyed so much power and got many people killed unnecessarily.
A narcissistic person is unable to feel the pain and suffering of others and sometimes he goes beyond that and becomes a sadist. Sadism means taking pleasure in causing pain to others. If you enjoy causing pain to others, then you are a sadist. And it can happen to anyone. As the mosquito is not causing any trouble, you are killing it and pretending that I have killed it, look I have killed another one. And you don’t feel that it must be hurting too.
You are walking on the road, and some dogs are also roaming there, they are not saying anything to you. You picked up a stone and hit him. Ha, ha, the leg is broken, the leg is broken, it’s fun, it’s fun. My aim is so good, you don’t realize that this stupidity of yours has crippled the poor fellow for life, this is sadism, a lack of empathy. Not realizing that he is also in pain, hence the lack of empathy is sadism.
A narcissistic person will never be able to listen to his own criticism.
What is the difference between confidence and criticism? You have confidence, and someone will say to you, Man, you are a very good person, all is well, but in this matter you are weak. What would you say, yes I will try, I will work on it a bit more. You will agree that yes I have made mistakes.
You will admit that I have made mistakes. I can be a better narcissist person who can’t listen to his own criticism, he can’t listen to someone else’s opinion. No matter how intelligent someone is, whatever he says, he will only consider it a laughing stock. He will never give importance to someone else’s opinion before his own. This is another symptom of narcissism.
Confidence and Overconfidence
How can we know that our self-confidence is becoming over-confidence or self-conceit that you have told us, whether self-conceit, this over-confidence would be called complacency?
Confidence means I can do it. It’s the belief that I can do it here, this, this. This belief is my confidence, okay. I am such that I have self-respect. I can do this I have confidence. Self-confidence is related to the perception of self and self, that is, in simple language, the image of me in my mind is called the image of my mind in psychology.
Our self-confidence depends on how our self-concept is formed and the people around us play a big role in forming that self-concept.
Now there is a condition of under-confidence in self-confidence, there is also over-confidence and there is a reasonable confidence.
It is very easy to measure what is its scale. It is not easy, we need at least someone who is your friend and also intelligent. So you can say look at me I feel like my self-concept is messed up. pervert. A very capable person may be convinced that he is very capable but it is believed that he knows nothing.
I have seen many kids like this, they are so capable but they have no confidence. And there are also such that their ability is not that much, but their confidence remains at the peak. Narcissism lives around. Therefore, the person on whom the trust is less or more than his abilities. It means that his self-concept is distorted, distorted, has to be reformed. An easy way to fix this is either visit a psychologist. And consulting a psychologist is not a bad thing.
He is the Founder and CEO of the Training and Counselling Company ‘Brain Soul & You’. He is an NLP Wellness Coach, Life Coach, Brain analyst, and Trainer for Education, Corporate, and Entrepreneurship. For more than 7 years, he delivered presentations on entrepreneurship, mind programming, and motivation. He did his B.tech in IT and later choose to be a successful psychologist. He is helping people in various ways through his counseling and training sessions.